Specifically, is there any evidence that he is genuinely unaware/unable to perceive people’s emotions or unable to predict their emotional reactions to his behavior? Because I don’t see it. I see a lot of evidence that he is very perceptive about people’s motivations, people’s emotions, how people will react to certain behavior, how to act to manipulate someone into the response he wants.
I think it’s just a stupid-ass fandom interpretation where poor innocent Sherlock is just unable to understand that his abusive behavior hurts people’s feelings. As opposed to the more likely, more supported theory that he’s an asshole, or a sociopath who doesn’t care about hurting other people.
Which is because a certain type of annoying fanchild likes to think of themselves as someone who is “too smart” to have to care about treating other people with decency. Which is kind of cute when it’s coming from a teenager, but let that mindset go on too long and you turn into a libertarian.
Neither Libertarianism nor Sociopathy are things that should be accommodated.