Gritty Mermaid Reboot

This could work only because I also never shower and have small animals living in my hair.

darlingtonia-californica:

annalsofonlinedating:

From the profile of a straight male, age 27:

The six things I could never do without:

1. My Ke$ha CD <3
2. CD Player to play my Ke$ha CD

One of the best things about Ke$ha’s music is that it’s so unpretentious. It doesn’t aspire to be more than it is. It doesn’t try to obfuscate its lack of substance with overly abstract metaphors. (Lady Gaga - Judas is certainly guilty of this) Ke$ha’s music is devoid of the depressing melodrama or pseudo-philosophical undertones that other artists employ in an all too obvious attempt to elicit “deep” feelings from the listener. When I hear her songs, I believe her. Or to put it another way, my disbelief is successfully suspended. I can’t say that for most pop music.

Despite Ke$ha’s cracked out appearance, her lyrics are surprisingly coherent. Each song conveys a simple, unified message about the joys of her fabulous life. Ke$ha is empowering without being patronizing. She has a dollar sign in her name. She is everything that pop music should be but fails to be.

_____________________________________________

+10 for Ke$ha. LOL Ke$ha. This guy really loves Ke$ha!

+3 for thinking that Lady Gaga is the height of pretension.

+5 for arguing that Ke$ha’s music is “devoid of… pseudo-philosophical undertones.” That is absolutely correct. It is entirely devoid of anything that could be even remotely construed as “philosophical.” Or “intellectual.” Or “tolerable.”

+4 for Ke$ha being empowering because she has a dollar sign in her name. $wagger, for sure. If we go on a date, you should definitely empower me with some dollar$.

+5 for CD and CD player. I do NOT think that Ke$ha, being a very advanced human being, would appreciate her music being played on such an antiquated device.

TOTAL POINTS: 27.

+12 for making it a point that the guy is straight because lol a straight man enjoys Ke$ha’s music like a gay dude, fuck your strict gender constructions and homophobia

+10 for mocking a profile because the writer likes Ke$ha and your musical tastes are obviously so much better

+16 for sounding like a sixteen year old hipster

+5 for reading comprehension because although I don’t really think of Ke$ha as ‘empowering’, nowhere was the argument made that she’s empowering because her name has a dollar sign in it. It’s a separate sentence.

TOTAL POINTS: FUCK YOU FOR MOCKING THE PERFECT MAN MY ONLY DREAMS ARE THAT I FIND THE GAY VERSION OF THIS MAN OH WAIT THAT’S JUST ME

I agree with this completely.  The only problem with this person is that they are a straight man.  Otherwise: my Ke$ha-loving soul mate.

(Source: annalsofonlinedating)