(especially when I have to tell someone I can’t give blood on account of risk of prion disease)
i tell her in a fun baby voice that she is half rat and half deer all the time
she loves it
she whips her thin tail at me
okay, but you need to repost the picture of her sleeping in the sunshine half-way down a ditch or flight of stairs or something and twisted into an unrealistic angle because I cannot believe I am the only person who saw and thought “dead deer”
For me, the most head-shake-inspiring, wackadoo negative thing about, loosely speaking, “sex positive feminism” is the incredible lack of qualifications or experience or psychological stability as person needs in order to declare themselves, and be treated as a “sex educator”.
Back in the day at the Southern Girls convention there would always be at least one workshop about ~ Sex Work~ that was run by someone who owned a porn website and, natch, one of the audience questions was always, ”omg, how do I work for you?” and I’ve heard stories of Emi Koyama outright hosting “feminist workshops” that were just her turning out college girls as their pimp, and I believe this because that’s just a half-step down from Courtney Trouble or Furrygirl wink wink nudge nudging in their workshops about how you can make money as a porn model.
And then of course, there are people who have read, say, Dorothy Allison’s writings about her experience a lesbian and a sexual abuse survivor who is involved in BDSM, decontextualized her words to make them about survivors in general and then repeated this like a game of telephone for 10-15 years until people are asserted these very sketchy things about survivors and BDSM as healing work, rooted in one woman’s personal experiences that cannot be separated from her other identities as a working class lesbian southern woman, and just being all, “yes. It Is Known. You should act out your sexual assault with a partner.”
And then there’s people within very fucked up subcultures with very fucked up, homophobic and misogynistic ideas about human sexuality and they are treated as experts. Remember kids there’s no such thing as an “asexual” neither is there such a thing as a orientational “dominant” or “submissive”. These are not equivalent to being “gay” or “straight”. Anyone who claims to be these things is inherently not trustworthy because they are embracing an ideology of human sexuality that is inherently harmful. AND YET. You will see earnest sex positive blogs posting things like “how it’s totally okay for an ~asexual~ person to have grudging unpleasurable sex with their partner who they are not attracted to” or talking about, for the love of god, ”nonsexual sex”. Bless their hearts. And that’s a goofy internet thing generally perpetuated by young nerds who are at least shielding themselves in their own way, sexual pressure and compulsory heterosexuality.
But much older, more widespread and more harmful is the idea that you cannot help your kinks and you should not be judged for them, even when we are talking about a straight man with a kink for beating and torturing women. And if a woman has fantasies about being sexually submissive, which are so common in our culture for so many reasons, it is pretty widespread for people to tell her that she is “submissive”. That is her identity, which, of course, traps her in a very dangerous place in terms of what she believes she needs in a sex partner.
And it’s somehow taboo to question: Is this true? Is a guy who gets off on hurting women or a 21 year old socially awkward Dr. Who fan really reliable experts on healthy human sexuality? What is the source for this sex positive communal wisdom? Que Bono from this story about feminist sex work? Are people in their early 20s really in a place where they can make objective, appropriate assertions about teenage sexuality?
I think if we can ask these questions openly then we can make a feminist and positive view of sex possible, but not really until then.
I’m so shocked that some of you claim to have never heard a Taylor Swift song. Like a) you are missing so much!! and b)what do you listen to in the car? Because if I spend more than 30 minutes in the car, listening to anything but public radio, I am 100% certain to hear at least one Taylor Swift song. The other day on the 35 minute drive from work to my mom’s house I heard three, including Our Song, which is from her first album and which whoever does the song selection at Windsor’s country station is clearly obsessed with because I hear that song all the damn time.
The only reason I think maybe Hannibal wouldn’t go for that is that I know some animal bones make a godawful reek when you boil them for stock, and human bones might be among them (like, I don’t know about pork, but I know beef bones can stink). Then again, he might like that particular bad smell.
I, of course, have a related anecdote about my time in the anarchist commune. Megan wanted to make art out of the bones of a dog she found by the railroad tracks. The smell of boiling bones was so bad is eclipsed the existing smells of rotting produce, chicken shit and punk boy that typically filled the house. This is some kind of a life lesson.
not a good time to be tracking the “fromage” tag on tumblr.
Bryan Fuller’s joyful passion for making sure that everything is people is pretty much the most endearing thing ever.
remember when he insisted that the grape jello was people? I don’t think anything will ever top that. Because…really?
Couldn’t you make gelatin out of people?
well, yes, that was his argument. But having your satanic villain grind up human bones to make….grape jello is just the peak of Bryan Fuller’s “it’s people” schtick.
(Though, I think people will make a strong case for “beer is people” topping that. )